Leaving a Legacy

Natalie's last post really got me thinking about legacy and why we compose. I can't speak for all composers, but I think most of us got our start in composing because we loved music and were curious and excited about creating it ourselves. I know a lot of composers who, like me, started out as performers and got bored of practicing what someone else wrote. I thought it was more fun to write my own music than to play someone else's (and it was a really good procrastination technique, which is probably why I'm not such a great performer anymore...). Luckily, not everyone feels this way, otherwise we'd have no one performing our music.

But back to the topic at hand- why we continue to compose. Most of us began doing it in the first place because we enjoyed it, but I doubt many of us at the young age when we first became composers thought about what kind of legacy we'd leave. I still don't, or at least not in so many words, and that's why I was so fascinated by the composer Natalie mentioned in her post who seemed to be more concerned about recognition than the music s/he was writing. Of course I am somewhat concerned about recognition, otherwise I wouldn't bother entering contests or ever having my music performed, and I'd be lying if I said I had never daydreamed about being famous or winning a huge composition award. But to answer Natalie's question: No, I had never before thought about it in terms of leaving a musical "legacy."

Here's what perplexes me about legacy: if my only goal as a composer was to be famous or to win prizes, I probably wouldn't be a composer. I know that doesn't really make sense, but the thing is, being a "famous composer" in 2011 is sort of a misnomer. Yes, you can be famous in the composition world, but outside of it, not very many composers are famous. And, even if you're famous among composers, that doesn't necessarily mean that you're going to leave a professional legacy behind after you're gone- in fact, the chances are that you won't. Not many people do. So if you're really looking for widespread fame and fortune, you should probably look elsewhere. There are many easier ways to become famous that do not involve pursuing a very difficult, solitary, economically-challenging career (just look at all those famous people who are famous for nothing).

So then why are composers concerned about legacy? It seems to be a very contrived concern. Most of us weren't worried about it when we got into this field, because most of us got into this field because we loved it. And you don't continue composing unless you absolutely love it, for all the practical reasons we've addressed on this blog in the past. The other interesting thing I wonder is if it matters what type of music one writes- are composers of acoustic music, for example, more concerned about legacy than composers who write electronic music? Acoustic composers certainly have a much longer tradition and many more composers with whom to compete, which would seem to make it an even more difficult task.

If you really want to be famous as a composer, you have to make a very concerted effort that has nothing to do with the actual music you're writing. You have to go to the "right" schools, meet the "right" mentors, have the "right" people performing your music at the "right" venues... etc. And even then, of course there's no guarantee you'll leave a legacy. Yes, it's human nature to want to leave something behind after we're gone, and all of us, whether we'll admit it or not, want to be remembered. But if your concern is to leave something behind, what's wrong with the actual music that you've written? The scores, the recordings, the concert programs, the memories of people who have loved, hated, and otherwise been affected by your music? Isn't that why we compose?

Before I start sounding like a hypocrite, I do need to address one small issue that has bothered me off and on over the past year or so. Namely, if the reason I compose is because I love it and because I enjoy hearing my music performed and like having others listen to and get something out of my music... why do I buy into the culture of competitions, awards, the website I was so anxious to get up and running, making connections with performers and other composers...? I constantly lament the fact that I haven't won many competitions or awards. So, yes, I suppose in that sense I am concerned about leaving a legacy. But why? The feeling of needing to participate in this culture of recognition never came up until I left college and started working for a music organization (that happened to publish a list of composition competitions and the like). And suddenly, I felt inadequate because I didn't participate in this culture.

I suppose part of it is really just the larger culture in which we live- the society that says if you don't receive recognition for something, you must not be very good at it, or it must not be a worthwhile pursuit. So I suppose I shouldn't be so hard on the composers who are trying to leave a legacy and make a name for themselves (myself included). Perhaps, though, we should try to remember why we started composing in the first place, before we thought about writing impressive-sounding bios and felt the need to enter competitions, and yes, worried about our legacies. It might be a nice change.

Posted by Sarah